I’m pretty sure that when they define the word ambitious by actions it would seem that mine over the last 35 years could be redefined as lazy. Sadly, as most of us in this world, I scroll through the endless pages of social media feed only to detect that I am not as accomplished, popular, determined, intelligent or independently wealthy as all of my associates on faceplant. Of course keeping in mind that 99% of this is the exact opposite of reality, it still has an effect on my mental acceptance of myself.
The last few years for me have been less than stellar and although I realize walking into a new decade of age should be thrilling and exhilarating, it is quite the opposite. I have come face to face with many mental stumbling blocks, some have been added to by the presence of other humans, that drive me into a vast pit of being utterly lost and bitterly confused. I use the word bitterly with literary intensity! I am bitter. Like unsweetened raspberry jam. My body no longer feels, looks or acts like it used to. This has nothing to do with you are as old as you feel, it is not a mental state of mind it is very much physical. All of the energy that was is no longer. It does not matter if I am using copious amounts of liquid stimulants, only coffee, there is nothing that beings back that energy that made me who I was! Where did it go? Did I lose it somewhere? Can I PLEASE have it back?
I have been researching age and health for a while now in my determination to not be “that” 40 something, you know the one who is boring, unpopular, lazy and overweight. Although it might have been for the wrong reason it was very interesting material. Like fitness programs we are all individual. There is no standard that is built for everyone but there is general rules that do apply to most. You then build around what you know about your client and come up with a program that fits the criteria set by both. Aging is the same premise. Taking what you know is going to eventually happen and developing a method to utilize knowledge, experience and hopefully wisdom to create a journey you could write a novel about. Yeah, ok, sure. I just want to wake up and feel like my 30-year-old self, not even my 20-year-old self. I want to be inspired everyday to succeed, grow and love my life. Believe it or not I used to love life. I am not blaming age but it would certainly help if I didn’t feel so damn 40 something.
In with the positive. It is OK to create your own version of success. I do not want to be remembered by anyone for anything other than I was the best Jennifer I could be. Kind, generous, considerate, selfless. This world is full of disrespect, anger and selfishness. I strive to make the biggest mark I can by being all the qualities I admire and respect. In the coming weeks I will explore different topics for us humans that care to venture beyond the standard thinking of success and hopefully reach out and touch people who might just need a little boost. It is ok to not be the C.E.O of a public stock company but it is not ok to just get by. There should be no such thing. We limit our views on happiness. We put them in a bag and mix them with what other people brag about. We identify less with our own stories and strive to be more like someone else’s. By sharing my own story I will introduce the ideas that call for less critical thinking and more self-awareness. That is if your interested in the ramblings of a 40 something.
Spirit Massage@ Reiki 